Of Acorns and the Oak Tree

The sun stayed out just long enough to get me out of bed this morning. After the mild, sunny autumn days, winter is settling in with strings of dark, cold, rainy or snowy days. And January is not even here yet!

I don't know if the shoot with Brandon will materialize. The prospect certainly inspired me to work with my old model photos anew. This image is one of several I "discovered" with my new Photoshop-processing skills.  I was gratified to see I've shot a few images that I thought were on par with other photographers were posting on the Internet. On the other hand I was disappointed that the bulk of my model photos are simple, head-on head shots. Back then, of course, I was more concerned about taking good-resolution photos and shooting live people whom I could direct to assume poses instead of snapping images before they vanished into the crowd was intoxicating.

There are directions both in photographing models as well as in post-production that I am keen on exploring. So far I've been processing in Photoshop just for composition and lighting, without using the program's bells and whistles to effect more profound or dramatic modifications. For instance, I want to be able to "paint" in specific areas to alter the hue or brightness of these area. I want to be more profligate with color changes, both for the overall effect as well as for specific details. I want to work with monotones containing elements in pastel shades, like ghosts silhouetted on the nets blowing in tropical bed chambers.

Meanwhile, re-reading André Aciman's novel, Call Me by Your Name, has lit a fire under my dream of writing something that combines memories with the lifelong obsessions I've had with religions (especially Christianity and Buddhism), with the experience, theory and ideals of romantic love, and confronting both life and death. Too big for a book? Maybe. Just to get started on a real prose project would be satisfying enough. For a while.

Last night I caught the tail end of a PBS show on "brain fitness" for the elderly. The experts spoke about principles that I've already discovered for myself but hearing them verbalize these ideas was greatly empowering. Attention and focus maintains the brain's ability to crunch sensory data. A rich sensory experience keeps the brain's plasticity. Demanding less and less from our brains leads to early aging. Challenging the brain with new learning and practicing sustained attention on any subject signals the brain that it can't grow old too fast yet. Old people have smaller circles of people they communicate with. This too hastens aging. The principles that work at the gym work for our mental life and life in general. The more we demand from ourselves the more we are given. Don't the religious texts that appear paradoxical and contradictory say just that? 

Maybe maturity brings into union the vast divergences that characterized our youthful explorations of life. Only as we are able to sit down and rest from our labors can we see the beauty and power of true labor, of effort that nourishes, and the wisdom of the ages begins to spill into the crannies of our exquisite, oh-too-short existence.